Ok so I just got back from creation yesterday... Creation was awesome... Even though there were only a couple bands there I really care for. The bands that were good were awesome.
Man god has been working in me a lot. I believe he is preparing me big time. My time has come. It is finally here. I can finally see it coming at me. I just finished the first ZU session and I plan on staying in the ZU for at least a year to prepare myself and then god will be sending me elsewhere... I'm not sure where yet but I will know when the time comes.

Check out this new graphic dealy bob I just made cool? not cool? On the list of utter stupidity? Well anyway I has been messin wit photoshop a bunch lately... maybe I am artistic after all... I got a bunch of other stuff even cooler cookin in the works... they'll be up some time soon. Oh and dude today I wrote a new song with my friend sharon... It very cool I've never written with a girl before. We got some really cool vocal harmonies and like the last chorus has like the guy girl vocal melodies all intertwined its awesome I'll post the lyrics below.

Still Here

Still here, waiting for you.
Have you been fading, from view?

I've been woundering where you are.
As the sun is growing dim
Cause I've got nothing left to give
If I can't find you.

Come find me.

You never turn away.
I can hear you say.
You'll never turn away.
After all this time.
You remember.

Have you been waiting for me?
All this time, I just didn't see.

Its a chase after the wind,
That my hearts been following.
You've got everything to give.
If I can't find you.

I'll find you.

You never turn away.
I can hear you say.
You'll never turn away.
After all this time.
You remember.

You never turn away.
     After all this time.
I can hear you say.
     Your still by my side, you remember
You'll never turn away.
     Every tear I cry.
After all this time.
You remember.

Still here waiting for you...

Perilous desire, falling in sanity to the inviting.
I sound the drum of body, beating vulgarly.
Foreign to anything elsewhere, indulged in sickening focus.
Why can't it leave me? Why do I love this death?
Death for myself and yet death to him.

I wear this dead armor as it shields my conscience.
I am consumed in its lie and feeling alive.

Unhinder patience, flying in solemn song.
You sound the drum of spirit, render harmony.
Aware of everything lifeless, filling with enchanting wholeness.
Why am I hiding? Why are you seeking?
Life for myself though still I am killing.

I wear your armor as it lives inside.
I reflect your light from where my spirit resides.

Wow man this weekend was the turning point of my life... the most amazing weekend ever and I feel like I learned more from it than I've ever learned in my lifetime... I feel so full of love right now. If I could only express what happened this weekend... I really wish so... it would take pages of explaining. But so like I went on this road trip with the ZU (Zoë University) which is this leadership type program I guess you would say but not totally... its all about learning from others er something... I don't know how to describe it... I always have a hard time... but what I know though is that I feel that over this last month or so of being in it and especially this weekend, I have learned more than I have ever learned about the truth of our lives and how we are suposed to live. I understand now what I was made for and what we were made for.

Son

Greatly untouched,
Fragile new unbroken unmolded.
Why do I bring this perfect art into a place so full of destruction?
If I can only carry him now, wrapped in armor.
I'm afraid that some day the mud will splatter up and taint his innocent beautiful color.
Will he be weathered? Torn? Smeared in the rain?
I trek on through the endless treachery.

Greatly treasured,
Strongly held in forming hands.
I dread the day when I must pass him on out of my hands and into others.
Uncloaked from my armor, naked and blind.
Will the stitching hold up to the fierce storms that rise?
Will my heart be woven into his own?
As I send him out into endless treachery.

I'm such a tard every time I get home lately I've been too tired to blog. Well today the same thing but Imana blog anyway. So like here is what happened last thursday I'm just gonna paste my convo with car about it in here cause I get really sick of repeating stories everywhere:

Phezini: I gots ta tell ya bout this last thursday..
jeffersonair16: Ok
Phezini: god did something totally amazing...
jeffersonair16: So tell me!
Phezini: ok ok ok I am... so like my friend and I were hanging out for the day getting a little deeply philosofical and spiritual and we were hangin out at this place that was gonna have an open mic... anyway he had shared this vision he has with me that blew me away... aparrenly god gave him this dream of a band where no music was written or practiced but as everyone got up on stage god filled them with his presence so much that they all played together in spirit and in faith that god would lead them......
Phezini: so I was planning on playin one of my new songs at the open mic that night but after our conversation I felt like I wasn't in the right heart when I wrote that song. so anyway I told him I didn't wanna play it and he's like well why don't we just go up there and you play someting whatever god brings you and I'll sing whatever god brings me...
Phezini: so we prayed about it and we prayed that god would just fill us with his spirit and give us music.... so thats what we did.... it was craaaazy man!!!
Phezini: it was so cool
Phezini: god friggin showed up big time
jeffersonair16: Nice!!
jeffersonair16: Great!
Phezini: and I played stuff I neva played before and dan sang amazingly naked words that freaked everyone out there
Phezini: they could feel the presence of god you could see it in their eyes
jeffersonair16: That is really great.
Phezini: none of these people were christians I'm sure
Phezini: but just looking in there eyes as they were so wide open and amazed.... one girl came up afterwards and told us she didn't understand how we could do such a thing... she said not only was the music awesome but she could feel some kind of presence coming from our general direction....
Phezini: and we told her ya know what that is? thats god. jesus christ our lord and savior.... and I spent the rest of the night talking to her and her friends about god
jeffersonair16: Wow... That is really amazing.
Phezini: yeah we are going to continue doing it
jeffersonair16: That's great. :)
Phezini: dan is amazing. we never played anything together but man does he have the most beautifull super talented voice.... he is like Bjork but a guy its strange
Phezini: very unique
Phezini: I never heard anything like him
Phezini: god has just gifted him amazingly
jeffersonair16: Haha. Maybe I'll hear him someday.
Phezini: yeah wanna know what our name is gonna be? its "Sport scar Jesus and the invited 39"
jeffersonair16: That is a crazy intense name.
Phezini: yeah ha ha like you get the sport scar jesus i'm sure but like invited 39 is the number of lashes jesus took
jeffersonair16: Cool.
Phezini: or like something like that... cause the whips back then had something like 3 hooks in them it multiplys out to 39 i think
jeffersonair16: Mm-hmm
Phezini: I can't remember how many times he was whiped
jeffersonair16: I don't know either.
Phezini: dan does man he is like my spiritual guru he is so stinking amazing... I've heard him share things with me I never heard before that really open my eyes

so yeah there ya have it thats what happened and then some if anyone cared to read anyway... bed time.....

ok tonight was 20 times better... I cant believe it. I just gotta say that jesus christ our lord and savior is amazing... he is the king. I'll post a detailed description of what happened later.

Tonight was friggin the coolest! Man talk about a great night. First of all, Worship at the exit was prety cool as ever... although there were way too many instruments on stage and there was a lady singing with us that kept clashing vocaly with robbie and I. Except fortunatly she didn't sing much during actual worship she just played her mandolin. Practice was horrible with it though. Her harmonies were all clashing with mine and Robbie said he was havin a horrible time with it too. Anyway so like afterwards I hung and watched Second wind's preactice... ughhh they are so so stunkin amazing. So as they were practicing rachael notices that outside someone was saran wraping, vaseline and toliet papering robbie's car! he was pissed and ran out there after them but they got away. It was one of the kids from the youth group. Soooo... Ha ha So Robbie, Nate, and I went and found the kid's car (he's a good friend and one of the oldest in the youth group.) at 3 am and we "hot dogged" his car... yes thats right "hot dogged" what does this mean? this means about 5 boxes (around 100 hot dogs in a box) of 2 year old hot dogs, 2 bottles of ketchup, 2 bottles of mustard, 3 loafs of bread a can of easy squeeze cheese and a whole lot of fun and creativity.... We ried to be stealth but there is something absolutely hilarious about dumping safeway bags full of wieners on a car... we were busting up laughing trying to hold it in... but we were never caught. It was awesome... what would you do if you woke up in the morning and your car was covered in hot dogs???

Be here in this cataclysmic array.
Loosing sight, piercing yourself on my thorns.
The thorns I cast in a mold all mine own.
You kill yourself over and over me.

Every hair is a crystalline fiber; radiating and pulsating.
Each is torn and dies a thousand deaths yet lives on.

Color engulfs in electrified flame.
Black that sheathes this Iron casing melts to white.
Layers dissipate in a cloud of dust,
Color pours into this soul.

But will this cloud of dust settle,
Reform, Reshape and encase?
Or will the host flee from its parasite,
Reborn, Replenished and alive?